Friday

Letting Go Of Someone You Love

Letting go of someone you love is something that most of us find extremely difficult. It's also something that happens to most of us at least once per lifetime. When we're in the midst of it, we feel like there is no life for us after and no light at the end of the tunnel. I'm here to tell you today that there is hope for a happier and better life.

When love turns bad, when the person we love so much stops loving us, when there is cheating involved or when things become abusive, it is time to let go of the relationship. I know that so many people have the "'till death do us part" belief system. I do not share that belief. Life is way too short to share my life with someone who no longer loves us back or who is hurting us with their behaviors on a consistent basis.

I was talking to someone who's girlfriend has left. She is cheating. She is not talking to him. She told him to leave her alone. He calls and texts and she denies the calls and doesn't answer the texts. She left the relationship a long time ago. We all saw it. We all knew it when it was happening. He was in complete denial. We all also know that he could be much happier with someone who shared his feelings and loved him the way he loves. I told him about how letting go of someone you love is so difficult, but in his case, it's necessary. He said, "I think I can fix her.".

That is a fatal flaw in end of relationship thinking. We cannot alter someone's free will. We cannot change how someone feels or what they choose to do with their life. Unless someone chooses healing of some kind, they will stay broken. We do not have the power to fix anything but ourselves and our lives. We cannot fix anyone else or their life. The only thing we can fix is our own life and our own mindset.

As long as we are stuck in that "I can fix it" loop, we will never actually let go of the person and the relationship and move on to healing. For healing to come, we have to accept the inevitable that the relationship really is over. The past is the past and whatever we thought we had is now gone. Contacting the person, hanging on to the relationship, listening to songs and watching movies that remind us of that person is only going to hurt us in the long run.

Any one of us can have the love that we say we want. We just have to accept and allow that love into our life. We also have to understand that it may not come as the person we thought we wanted. Letting go of someone you love to allow what you really want into your life is a necessity in some cases to having the love story that ends in and they both lived happily ever after. Love yourself enough to walk away from bad love. Love and respect yourself enough to let the person who is not choosing you to go on down the path they are choosing. Love yourself enough to be open to true love from someone who's willing to give what you say you are seeking. You are worthy and you deserve it.

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