When she comes around, you'd better know what to do!
Once in a while, you meet someone who has got that little bit of extra. It’s pretty hard to define, she just has it. She is amazing and beautiful. She makes you smile.
She can turn up everywhere, anytime. At a party where you see her dancing and laughing with her friends like a silly little girl. On the streets where she drops something and looks all helpless. At a supermarket or in a shop where she just looks like she has it all together, rocking a super-sharp business suit and high-heels.
You do not see one of these women every day, noooo sir. At least that would surprise me. If you do, leave me a comment and tell me where you live, I’ll get there pronto!
And when you get to know her, she is still super cool. Even cooler, actually. Usually, she is special in some way. Rockin’ the guitar, painting like Picasso, an amazing dancer, Counter-Strike geek or just sweet as honey. Besides being beautiful, these girls usually have something else to them. Sometimes you can define it, sometimes you can’t. But you know you like it.
The mistake I see over and over again
I want to talk about what to do when you meet one of these women. Most likely, you do not fall for her the first time you see her. I do believe in ’love at first sight’, it is not impossible, but for the most part you will not start really liking a girl after at least a few times talking to her and/or being around her.
The mistake I see over and over again is that men fail to take action when one of these women swing into their lives. No, scratch that. I see two mistakes. First one is lack of taking action. The second one is almost as critical: putting her on a pedestal. Now this might sound counter-intuitive, after praising these women to the sky and beyond, but let me elaborate.
Don’t put her out of your reach!
All people are equal in value. That is our starting point. A beautiful woman is not worth more than an ugly one. We as individuals place those adjectives on them, it is not something they are, it is something we think they are. You may like beautiful women more than ugly women, and that is perfectly good, healthy and natural. After all, it is you who think that she is beautiful. Someone might just as well think that the girl you think is ugly is the most beautiful woman in the world. (I am aware of the fact that some women by the definition of the masses are more attractive than others, but let us look past that for just a moment.)
She’s only human
So what I want you to avoid when you meet one of these amazing women is to put her on a pedestal. You can raise her above others in the sense that she does something for you, but not more than that. No matter how divine-looking and how much she smells of flowers and heaven, she is still just a human being. She is a woman with some of the same problems as everybody else.
Most likely, this woman knows she is good. People have most likely told her that she is beautiful all her life. What she wants is not another fake human, who will be telling her the same stories.
She wants a man who also does something for her, something that is different. She wants an equal. If her self-esteem is at the right place, she knows what she can get and how she can get it. I bet that you want her to want you.
So why doesn’t she want you?
Here comes a real shocker: how do you know? How do you know, really, that she does not want you?
Let me tell you this. The women we are talking about here are not like many other women. They do not settle for less than they know they are worth. Sometimes, you can mistake this trait for arrogance, and sometimes it is, but admit it: you kind of dig that about her. You like that she does not make out with half the club and that she is a challenge. You like that she most likely does not have sex on the first date. She takes a little bit of work, and she is all worth it.
And she doesn’t do these things to get an ego boost by keeping guys waiting. She is all above that. She does them to test you. That’s right. Test you to see if you are man enough for her and know what you really want.
Most of the guys in her life most likely haven’t had a clue what they have been doing when they were with her.
You are different. What you do when you meet this girl is that you are totally authentic. You know what you are and what you want. You are honest. That alone will set you apart from most other guys. You are upfront with your intentions.
What I want you to do
So what I want you to do when this woman comes by is to muster the courage to walk up to her and say hi. No tricks, no gimmicks. Let it flow, make her laugh, smile and look her in the eye. Relax, have fun.
You do not have to be nervous when talking to her, because you know that she is just like every other girl. And to top that, some guy, somewhere, is most likely tired of her. Think about that for a minute.
What you shouldn’t do
What you shouldn’t do is to raise her above everybody else. And especially before getting to know her.
These women can make your life everything you’ve ever wanted. But they can also make it hell. The women you like the best are most likely the women who can fuck you up the most as well. Tread carefully if you are afraid of getting hurt.
I personally think that you should not be. Open yourself and accept whatever comes your way. Learn from your experiences. But it’s up to you. Just know what you are doing!
Usually, I do not like the advice from most PUA’s (pick-up artists), but I heard of an ’opener’ (way to start a conversation with a girl) worth mentioning. She has to sit by herself and look bored, or at least looks like she is not having any fun. Anyway, what you do is walk up to her. Do not look at her directly. Instead, look around her like you’ve lost something (think a pair of keys). Look all around her, underneath her, beside her, behind her. After you have looked around her, her curiosity will be sparked. Look her directly in the eyes, and say something along the lines of ”I am looking for a smile, can you help me find it?”
If you have got luck on your side and you do it right, she should smile right back at you. Even if you don’t take it any further than that, you will still have made a girl smile, and that by itself is pretty amazing. And continuing with some light banter and fun conversation should not be too hard, either. I think it’s a fun ’opener’ and I will definitely try it out when I get the chance. Unlike most other PUA material, this one is cute and authentic. It’s a way to open up a girl who would not otherwise have been interested in talking to you (if she were down in some kind of way and not willing to start a conversation with a stranger). She may also just look at you like you are some kind of weirdo, but hey, that’s a chance you have got to be willing to take. You win some, you lose some.
I’ll be sure to let you how it goes when I get to try it out.